Can’t take my eyes off the pretty women

Dear Pastor,

I am a married man and I am also trying to be a Christian, but I find myself lusting at women.

My wife says that I cannot be a true Christian and lust after women. I do not lust after married women. Most of the girls that I lust after are single. I like the way they dress and the way they talk, but I don't lust after them because I want to go to bed with them. It is just that I admire girls who put themselves together very well. And they look very sexy.

A couple of times when I have been out with my wife and I see sexy girls, my thoughts stray away from the road. My wife got very angry and grabbed the steering wheel and asked me if I didn't see that she is sitting right next to me. I told her I that have not done anything. She said she saw me staring. It is a sin to look at beauty?

My wife cannot say that she knows that I have gone with any of these girls. The only thing I am guilty of is admiring them. She told me that I should be satisfied with what I have at home and she knows that I would not be happy if she starts admiring other men and talking about them like I talk about these girls. My wife is very beautiful, so she needs not fear that anyone will take me away from her. If a girl gets too close to me at church, my wife leaves where she is and stands in front of me or close to me. Sometimes I am embarrassed by her behaviour. I would like a word from you.

G.N.

Dear G.N.,

There is a difference between love and lust. Love has no evil desire. Love does not put plans in place to do anything that is wrong or evil.

But lust is a temptation of the flesh. It has a desire that is evil. Lust can destroy another person or the relationship of someone else. Lust pursues someone who is with an evil desire or fleshly desire. Lust has brought many great men and women to their knees and it has destroyed their careers and their standing in society. Lust says "I am going to get you. I am going to pursue you regardless of the cost." So often when men say that they are in love, they are not; they are just lusting after another person.

Your wife knows that you can get yourself into trouble by lusting after women. So try your best to concentrate on the road and not to put your mind on other women. She is only trying to help you by warning you to be smart. She wants you to fight the flesh. So don't get upset with her whenever she speaks to you about your conduct.

Pastor