I refused to marry this man after what the police told me

Dear Pastor,

I woke up thinking about a situation I am having. It is bothering me and my mind is all over the place, wondering who to talk to. Then you flashed in my thoughts, and I said, ‘Yes, you are the right person to talk to.’ So, I Googled you and saw your number.

I met a man who is a foreign national last month. Immediately, he started telling me about marriage. Two days after I met him, I was in a taxi heading home when I saw him with a nursing student heading to a food establishment. He was carrying her bag.

The following day, he came by where I do my business, telling me how much he loves me. When I looked at him, there were a lot of hickeys all over his neck. I asked him about them but he denied it. I told him I saw him with a nurse going to the food establishment, and he said he went there to buy lunch.

Recently, both of us were at a bus park because I was going somewhere. A police officer came and held this man’s hand, saying to him, ‘Come’. The police took him to the police post.

I went over to find out what was the matter and was told that I had to wait a while. Shortly after, a police vehicle with flashing blue lights came. I said to myself, ‘This is serious.’ I watched as the police placed him in handcuffs and then put him in the vehicle.

I went and asked the police what happened. I was told that, earlier in the day, he allegedly offered a 13-year-old girl money to leave with him. It is also alleged that he fondled her. He denied the allegations.

This man is still hoping I would marry him.

I am asking you for your advice. It would be very important to me. From that incident, I deleted his number from my phone. I think something is wrong with this man. There is no way a man could just meet a person and be so anxious to marry.

I read your column every day on my phone when it is available. I am very sad. Keep up the good work. You are doing a lot for us. I am looking forward to your reply.

W.

Dear W.,

You have done the right thing by walking away.

It is not unusual for a man to meet a woman and offer to marry her right away. He could be sincere, but he could also be a scammer. Not every proposal is a good proposal, and not every marriage is a good marriage. That is why a woman should never be eager to accept a marriage offer from a man she hardly knows.

You had only just met this man, yet he was already talking about marriage. Then, two days later, you saw him with a nursing student, carrying her bag. When you saw him again, he had hickeys all over his neck. His explanation was that he had gone to the food establishment to buy lunch.

But the most serious matter is what you said happened at the park. You said the police told you that the man had allegedly offered money to a 13-year-old girl to leave with him and had allegedly fondled her. He denied the allegations.

What has become of this matter? I believe the public would like to know.

Regardless of the outcome of the police investigation, you should maintain your distance from this man. You have known him for only a short time, yet he is already pushing for marriage while a number of troubling incidents have occurred.

You did the right thing by deleting his number. I would advise you to keep it that way. Do not allow him to pressure you into a relationship or marriage.

I hope that you would keep away from these men who are seeking to con women. Block this man’s number from your phone. This guy cannot be trusted.

Pastor